the fictional steven seagal lawman episodes

You might be thinking that the world doesn’t need a blog dedicated to fictionally adapting Steven Seagal’s reality show, but you’d be wrong.

Obviously.

Seagal’s show, brilliant as it is, can’t show us all the controversial kick ass shit he gets up to.

Mostly because the awesome awesomeness of what he does. Your mind would explode if you were seeing 100% uncut Seagal, your reality matrix is not strong enough. Imagine if we were to find out that Seagal’s on screen persona was the real deal, there would be anarchy on the streets, and our friends in the mainstream media have wisely protected us from it.

Instead we see him training dogs, singing and wearing yellow glasses, as these are things we can cope with.

But we still want more, because this is Steven Seagal.

That is where this website steps in, it purports to tell you “fictional” tales of Steven Seagal Lawman, because if I told you these were the truth you’d either doubt me or your head would explode.

Plus I am working on a script for Mr Seagal that involves him beating the asses of a bunch of Aliens, and I figured that if I started this blog I might have a chance of getting my script to him.

I thank you for coming to the site and give you this bit of Seagal wisdom, “It doesn’t work if the bad guys kill his mother’s uncle’s friend’s neighbor’s pet dog. You’ve got to make the stakes high.”

If you are Steven Seagal, or one of his lackies, please feel free to email me at (answers at cricketwithballs.com)

My main website is here.